Mather customs & border patrol

Because your roommate should have signed up for a meal plan instead of having you “eating for two”, so to speak…?

I don’t even have a roommate, Im eating for me. And I always miss breakfast so technically Im only getting two meals a day if I don’t swipe stuff!! Really helps to have a snack at like three in the morning or watever.

Get the two largest paper cups they have, fill them with whatever food you want, stick straws in both as though they’re drinks, and sip one as you walk out. I’ve never had them ask me to actually pop a lid.

Probably helps if you walk fast and look flustered and impatient.

The Polish lady is nice, she’ll ask me if I’m eating enough

Yeah but there’s another lady whose absolutely ruthless, I think she even stopped Sharon Herzbeger once for like trying to carry a plate out or something

Ahahaha I guess they know Herzberger pretty well by now

There’s a friend of mine who likes to boast about how he carefully smuggled out an entire set of cutlery over the course of a year.

Just be glad they aren’t setting up metal detectors yet. They know people do this.

It really pisses me off when Im walking across campus and see someone just tossed a spoon or a knife or something on the ground. We pay for that shit when it goes missing!

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